Schadenfreude
by KissAndDie
Summary: <html><head></head>She was backed up against the wall, he was flush against her, thumbs rubbing her sides - and they couldn't be happier. - - - Sam and Freddie have a little secret - and it's killing her, slowly.</html>
1. Sugar, We're Goin' Down

**No, this isn't like, replacing Sam and Freddie's Underwater Adventure. I just had a feel for something different, and this sprung up in my mind.**

**Based on how many reviews I get for this one chapter - I'm thinking more than 5, I'll make another one. **

**But read on, anyways!**

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><p>Carly hadn't expected to find Sam and Freddie bonding over Green Day on her beanbags when she walked in from her new part-time job.<p>

She hadn't expected it at all.

Yet there they were, laughing over Wake Me Up When September Ends and tossing old CDs at each other playfully. Carly coughed. They continued bonding, Sam leaning in to steal a CD he held over her head. Carly coined again, louder this time. They kept at it.

"HEL-LO!" Carly exclaimed, kicking a beanbag and flailing her arms. It was a typical Shay thing to do when they weren't getting enough attention. "The hell happened when I was gone? You drug Freddie?" Carly asked flipping her long, mahogany hair over her shoulder. Sam only giggled.

"No, Carly. He was just showing me his old Green Day albums, no biggie." she said, wiggling her butt in the beanbag gleefully. Freddie nodded.

Carly raised an eyebrow and only let out a nonchalant "Oh." she leaned down towards Freddie's face and kissed him on the cheek.  
>"Your gigaserver thingie is downstairs, honey." she said, braiding her hair and looking at Sam curiously. Freddie smiled thankfully, mumbled "Its actually a gigabyte server 3000..." and headed out the door. Sam wrinkled her nose once he was gone.<p>

"Ew, honey? What are you, fifty?" Sam asked, pushing herself up and looking at Carly. Carly smiled faintly and looked at Sam, jumping up and down.

"Shut-up. Anyways, I was on my way to Victoria's Secret - Build-A-Bra has absolutely NO sexy lingerie, and Freddie hates seeing the Teddy bear bra - anyway, I was on my way and GUESS who I spotted?" she smirked and shook her friends shoulders. The less enthusiastic we show host raised an eyebrow.

"Who?" she said monotonously.

"GRIFFIN! He like...has grown. Grownnnnn." Carly said, winking and poking Sam in the shoulder playfully. Sam rolled her eyes.

"You forgetting your b-"

"AND I was thinking, maybe we could double date! Me and Freddie, you and Griffin! And Sam, Freddie isn't my boyfriend, remember? Friends with benefits?" she teased, giggling. Sam looked repulsed.

"Ugh, I gotta go. Potato salad is calling my name. We'll talk about that double date later, Kay Carls?" Sam said, walking out of the door and shutting it with a slam. Carly only shrugged and went back to braiding her long hair, humming.

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><p>She was backed up against the wall, he was flush against her, thumbs rubbing her sides - and they couldn't be happier. Forgetting to close the door, they scurried like eager beavers to his bed, him on top of her, kissing her passionately. She bit his bottom lip and he gasped while she smirked and sneakily maneuvered her tongue into his mouth.<p>

Moaning as she searched every crevice of his mouth, Freddie started to lift her striped top off of her, figuring he should get her back for the shock she'd given him. She only smiled and returned the favor, removing her lips from his (to which Freddie groaned in protest) to take off his 'Lemur Lovin'' Penny tee with ease. She groaned in satisfaction at his chest, and rubbed her hands over the abs he had formed over months of fencing.

Freddie couldn't breathe after a while, and rolled to the side of the bed. Sam seemed to be panting too, and put her pale hand to her forehead. Both winded from the sudden make out session, they looked at each other, eyebrows raised in confusion.

_What just happened?_ They both thought and backed up off the bed, eyes wide. His cocoa eyes bored into her blue ones in fear. He coughed.

"I...Well...We...I...You...You should go. I..." Freddie couldn't say anything. Anything he said would come out stupid and meek to him, so he shut his mouth, looking at Sam. Sam was fiddling with her fingers and staring at the ground, as if she had done something bad. His heart was racing, and he had anything but clean thoughts running through his mind. Sam started backing to his doorway, trying to shuffle her way out of his room in shame. He was going to let her, until he paused and frowned.

"Don't leave. You can't go to Carly's...stay with me tonight, sleep on the couch, or something." he said, raking through his drawers for a shirt. He found one that read 'Big Momma' and grabbed it. The top was pink, three sizes bigger than Sam, and absolutely perfect. He tossed it to her and she catches it, blushing and scurrying into his bathroom without another word. Sam was uncharistically silent as she climbed into his bed sullenly, shutting her eyes and closing herself into feta position.

"Sorry..." was the last thing she mumbled before her blue eyes were finally shut closed. Freddie couldn't help but feel Sam had a double meaning attached to her statement, but he didn't want to figure out if that was true.

Freddie stood and mumbled "It's okay," while taking off his pants to reveal his plain Jane black boxers. He slid in the bed and turned away from Sam and kept his eyes open until everything he saw was black.

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><p><strong>And there you go. Kinda a prolouge, but not a prolouge, you get me? <strong>

**LMAO, bye guys. New chapter for SFUA soon, after my awkward writing phase blows over. **

**Ugh.**


	2. Trust Me, Honey  I Don't Do Promises

**Enjoy, fans. 3 Thanks for the reviews, btw. **

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><p><em>Friends with benefits? More than friends? Don't sample the <em>

_Goodies unless you're willing to risk addiction and withdrawal._

- _Ann Landers_

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><p>He felt a warm body pressed up against him, and almost screamed until he saw a blond strand of tousled hair. He then proceeded to jump up and slid carefully off the bed. He scrambled around his room, looking for a football helmet and a baseball bat. Once he found both of the items, he put the helmet on and slowly, slowly, poked Sam in the back with it.<p>

She only groaned and rolled over.

He sighed, and dropped the bat and the helmet. Figuring he needed a more direct approach, he leaned in so he was near Sam's ear. "Wake up Sam, it's time for school." he said, breathing heavily into her ear. She giggled and blinked, stretching.

"Morning, Fredhead. Bed head looks hot on you." she commented dryly, and took off her (his) Big Momma dress and started to search for a towel. Freddie stared at the red lingerie-clad girl, flapping his lips together. Sam tousled her long blonde hair and turned to Freddie. "Ugh, where are your towels? I need to bathe. Of course, you'd be surprised I even bathe, wouldn't you, Freddie?" she mumbled the last part and crossed her arms, looking at him expectantly. Freddie almost couldn't contain himself. The lingerie complimented her milky skin so well he just wanted to-

"Freddie?" she asked, her eyebrow raised. Freddie only shook his head and scurried out of his room to get Sam a towel. He came back in his room a second later, throwing her a black towel.

"Go off and...do your business. You need clothe-never mind." he said, when he saw Sam pull out a pair of Capri shorts and some Cuddlefish tee shirt from his drawer. "You hide clothes in my room?" he asked, somewhat not surprised. He started walking towards another drawer to pick out a shirt to throw on.

"...You aren't going to shower?" Sam asked over the sound of running water in his bathroom. He smirked.

"No, why? Want me to come in and join you, Puckett?" he asked, his smirk getting wider as he heard a loud thump and a "Dammit that _HURT_" as soon as he finished his sentence. He picked out a green t-shirt and a pair of black cargo pants and hurried them on, not even bothering to fix his hair. She did say bed head looked nice on him...

"Mmm, hot water." Sam had come out of the bathroom fully clothed, putting her damp hair into a ponytail. Freddie was waiting by the doorway, arms crossed expectantly. He knew he had to talk about yesterday's events sometime today, but knowing Sam, he'd be forced to forget it ever happened. But he was going to talk about it. As soon as she-

"So, you know we have to go over to Carly now, right? I left my book bag there."

"Sam, the last time you brought in your book bag to school, it had Gibby's dead goldfish in it."

"Shut-up." Sam scoffed, and looked away from him for a second. She was in the doorway, only inches from Freddie. He had that worried look on his face again. Sam looked panicked for a second.

"About yes- _mmph_!" Freddie didn't get to finish what he had planned to say before Sam leaned in and planned a swooping kiss on him. He kissed back, tentatively at first, until he relaxed. They kept kissing until he couldn't breathe, and his hair was more tousled than before.

"Maybe we can talk about it later."

"Maybe. Now let's go." Sam walked out of the doorway and sneaked out of his apartment. Freddie followed an amused look on his face.

"You don't need to be a ninja, mom left for work an hour ago." he snickered until Sam punched him in the gut. She happily opened the door and smiled wide at Spencer and Carly.

"Mornin' Shays!"

"Mornin' Puckett!" Carly and Spencer piped back cheerfully. Sam loved moments like these - when Carly was normal and Spencer was peppy and Freddie was in pain. She reveled these moments. Sam sighed happily and plopped down on the couch. Carly smiled and giggled. "Someone seems a little happy today! You excited for that double date already?" she winked, and squealed happily.

Moment _killed_.

Sam sighed out a "No," and stood up. She felt like bacon, today. Rummaging through the fridge to find some bacon strips to cook, she didn't notice Carly smacking a big one on Freddie. But she heard it. Sam shut her eyes tightly, counted to ten, and shut the refrigerator door with a pack of bacon strips firmly planted in her hand. "Hey, lovebirds, don't get too rowdy, eh? PDA's scare small children." she fake-laughed and smiled, walking over to the stove. She put the bacon strips on a pan and started cooking them skillfully. Freddie glanced warily at her, and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I smell bacon!" Spencer said, jumping up and down like a giddy school girl. Sam smiled and nodded; putting the fresh bacon strips on a plate covered with a paper napkin, and went searching in the fridge for eggs. She suddenly felt someone pressed up against her - was that...?

"I want some cereal, today." Freddie whispered huskily and grabbed the box of Cap'n Munch. He back away from Sam and whistled as he searched for a bowl and a spoon as if nothing had ever happened. Sam frowned, blushing, and took out the eggs and some milk for Freddie.

"_Here_," she said monotonously, walking back to the stove to fry her eggs. A few silent moments passed in the Shay household until Sam was done cooking. She grabbed a Ziploc bag and put her breakfast in it, stuffing it in her book bag. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"So I'm assuming you three aren't staying for breakfast?" he asked. Carly giggled and shook her head. She grabbed her purse/book bag and walked towards the door, opening it.

"Let's go, guys. I'll drive?" she asked, and the bickering duo nodded. She rolled her eyes and walked out the door. Freddie stuffed in a few more bites of cereal, mumbled a bye to Spencer, and ran out the door. Sam gave Spencer a hug and waved bye, grabbing her delicious smelling book bag and shuffling out the door.

"Do you ever try to not beat up the first freshmen you spot on our first day back from winter vacation?" Freddie asked, amused as he sat down legs spread out on the floor. It was free period, and the Ridgeway teens were running amuck. Seniors hopped off to classes, juniors ran crazily, laughing in the hallways at the pathetic sophomores and freshmen. He had decided to read, holding a Lord of the Rings book in his muscular hands, and was multi-tasking from flipping the pages to looking at Sam. She shook her head guiltily and plopped down next to Freddie, crossing her legs.

"What? The punk was just begging for it. Soooo, you make out with Carly in that disgusting janitors closet yet? Figured you would right about now." Sam said, playing with her ponytail and tripping kids on their way to class. She grabbed her book and started flipping to her page.

"No, and I don't - is that Pride and Prejudice? When did you start reading Jane Austen?" he asked, flabbergasted by the idea of Sam reading anything that wasn't Boogie Bear related. Sam shrugged.

"I loved Jane Eyre last year, so I figured I'd give this one a shot. Read the Lord of the Rings series during freshmen year." she yawned, flipping a page. "Mom had the first edition book, I was bored, and so I cracked it open. Best book ever."

Freddie's eyes widened. "But the first edition book is...almost a thousand pages long!" he exclaimed, eyebrows raised, book plopping onto his lap from his shock.

"So?" Sam stood up and flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. "I'm gonna go get some ham Carly saved for me in her bag, catcha later, Benson." she grabbed her bag and started to walk, until Freddie grabbed her ankle. "What?" she barked out, growling. She had food to get to.

"Wanna come to my house tonight? You can sleepover." he mumbled, looking right into her blue eyes. Sam's face instantly heated up and she cursed herself in her mind. This was wrong. Carly could find out. And Sam didn't feel like being the other woman. Everything would be awkward. She'd lose her mind. He'd hurt her. She couldn't even consider it...

Until she saw Freddie's pleading face, his lip slightly puckered out. "Please? _For me?_" he added, smirking. Sam sighed.

"F-Fine, but no funny business. What happened last night was a onetime thing, you got that? Your dating Carly..." she trailed off, biting her red lip.

"She doesn't have to _know_." he stood up and winked at her, walking away, book in hand.

Sam felt afraid, as if she and Freddie had switched bodies. He didn't act like Mr. Macho unless he knew something was perfectly in his favor. Sam bit her lip harder. Was he...was he using her? And why is she fully aware of it and not doing anything? Sam knew Freddie knows the implications of what could happen as much as she does. And he definitely knows her implications are a bigger blow.

"_Schadenfreude_," Sam mumbled and shuffled her way to her next class. She ignored her bleeding bottom lip as she blended away with the crowd, secretly anticipating her meeting with the tech-boy.

She might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

"Freddie, it's negative three. For a kid in AP Calculus, you're pretty damn stupid." Sam said, shrugging off her pants and plopping down on Freddie's living room couch. Freddie had promised her no funny business – so there they were, in the Benson's apartment on the couch playing footsie while Freddie did his homework.

"But - …oh. S-Shut-up, Sam." He scoffed, writing down the answer with a frown. He was conflicted to whether he should tell her what he thought about yesterday…but he knew she'd avoid it. So he only looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. Sam was smirking at him, proud over being right. She was playing with her hair and furrowing her brows at him, daring him to say what he had to. He gulped. "So…if you're such a freaking genius, why aren't you trying? Why waste what you have?" He asked, frowning deeper. It was bad enough she had a record. But her terrible grades just made it worse. And if she had such flawless intelligence (she's gotten every answer he's asked her right – he triple-checked – without using any scrap paper. And this is calculus we're talking about here, folks.) Why waste it? "You could be valedictorian, if you tried hard next year. I'm thinking Harvard….Yale? Hmm, Dr. Puckett. I like the sound of it actually." He smirked at her, and she only blushed back and shoved his foot.

"Shut-up, Benson. I just don't feel like doing all that work. You and Carly can be the doctors – I'll be the hobo living behind your home. God, will that suck. Your children will pull at my hair. You two better feed me!" she added, glaring at Freddie. He laughed.

"Sam, c'mon. Try to ace a test or two, please? I really don't need a hobo as a best friend. Kinda scary." He said, chuckling. Until he realized what he said, he didn't feel the need to take it back. But now he did. "I mean…we are still friends, right?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She stopped playing footsie.

"I…guess? We had a huge make out session yesterday, and now we're half naked playing footsie. I'd suggest friends with benefits, but…you're with Carly. And I may be a bitch, but that's just wrong." She said, frowning. Freddie nodded.

"So…I guess this means no more footsie?"

"No more footsie."

"No more make-out sessions?"

"No more make-out sessions."

"How about one, for the road?" Freddie smirked and chuckled until Sam punched him in the stomach. "You gotta…stop doing that…" he groaned and leaned down, as Sam laughed.

"No, I'm not going to give you a kiss for the road. We're just friends, okay? Yesterday…Carly irritated me, you were there, and I looked at your lips…and WHAM! Mistake. I'm sorry…" she said again, looking into his eyes. "I screwed up everything." Freddie frowned.

"No…no you didn't. Sam – we can…we…I don't know what to say." Freddie groaned and leaned back, his head over the armrest of the couch. Sam chuckled.

"Smooth." She muttered, smirking. She stood up and walked to his room. "This doesn't mean I don't get to sleep here, you're bed is damn comfy." She said. Freddie smiled and hopped off the couch, leaving his textbook long gone. He shut the bedroom door and smirked.

"You know what else is comfy?" he said huskily, smirking.

"What?" Sam asked, under his covers, taking her top off.

"_My lips_." He said, smoldering. Sam burst out laughing. She kept on laughing until tears sprung in her eyes, milky cheek s damp with tears as she wiped them off.

"OH GOD, were you kidding? That has to be the _worst _pickup line I have ever heard in my life." Sam barked out, amid another laugh. Freddie chuckled and grabbed his laptop, lying down on the bed.

"Worth a shot." He said, smiling. Sam rolled her eyes and faced him on the bed. He looked at her, eyebrow raised. Sam's stomach tingled as she leaned in slowly to kiss him on the corner of his lips. She leaned back slowly, laying her forehead on his, and smirking. Freddie couldn't contain himself and leaned in, kissing her full on the lips.

Some best friends _they_ were.

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><p><strong>God, wrtiting this was SOOOOOOO fun, you don't even know. <strong>

**Review, loves!**

**Adore forever,**

**Mandotta. 3**


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